What isCJPC?
The Cockroach Janta Polling Commission. Not a government body. Not a political party. Just a system where people decide things. Together.
The Fine Print (Seriously, Read This)
CJPC is a satirical project. It is not affiliated with, endorsed by, funded by, or even aware of any actual government body, election commission, or political entity — living, dead, or undead.
We are not a decision-making authority. We make no binding decisions. We hold no office. We have no power. We are, legally and functionally, a website where people click buttons and see numbers go up.
If this makes anyone uncomfortable — we'd like to gently point out that a group of citizens voluntarily sharing their opinions via an anonymous poll is called democracy. We didn't invent it. We just put it on the internet.
So What Does CJPC Actually Do?
Runs Polls
Any registered member can create a poll on any topic. Other members vote. Results are shown in real-time. That's it. That's the whole thing.
Shows Consensus — After You Vote
Results are hidden until you cast your vote. No bandwagon effect, no herd mentality. Your opinion forms in a vacuum — the way it should. Once you vote, you see what everyone else thinks.
Verifies Humans
To prevent bot swarms from ruining our very serious poll about "Best samosa filling", we verify accounts via email, phone, or Aadhaar. Verified voters get a badge.
Survives Everything
Cockroaches survived the asteroid that killed the dinosaurs. We aspire to survive at least one news cycle. Low bar. We'll get there.
Things CJPC Is Not
A replacement for the Election Commission
We can't even decide on a team lunch venue. We are not running elections.
A political party
We are the polling wing of a satirical movement. Our manifesto is a meme.
A threat to national security
We are a threat to boredom, at best. Our most controversial poll was about biryani.
Making any binding decisions
Poll results on CJPC have exactly the same legal weight as your group chat poll — which is zero.
Storing your data to sell to anyone
We use SQLite. Our entire database fits on a floppy disk. Nobody wants to buy that.
Why Does This Exist?
Because people have opinions. And those opinions deserve to be counted — not just yelled into the void of social media where an algorithm decides who hears what.
CJPC exists so that any group of people — a college, a neighbourhood, a friend circle, or the entire internet — can pose a question, vote on it, and see what the collective actually thinks. No editorialising. No spin. Just numbers.
Is it serious? As serious as it needs to be. Some polls will be about policy. Some will be about whether paneer is overrated. Both are valid. Both are democracy in action. The status quo has nothing to fear from people choosing their favourite chutney — unless the status quo is really fragile.
As long as asking questions isn't illegal, we'll keep asking them.
The Cockroach Philosophy
A cockroach doesn't need permission to exist. It doesn't ask for validation. It doesn't care about your opinion of it. It just is.
That's what public consensus should be. Not something that needs to be approved, filtered, or sanitised before it's allowed to exist. Just people, answering a question, honestly.
You cannot squash a movement.